Gymtastrophe

So feeling pretty pleased with myself for not only dragging my tired ass to the gym at 7am, but for really 'going for it' seeing as I accidentally ending up with Mexican plans for lunch and Indian plans for dinner (not greed: the Mexican is free and the Indian is for charity, aren't I selfless?)

Every time I go to the gym before work I inevitably have to shower. I do not believe in public nudity, no matter how smooth and supple my skin is compared to the sixty year old bazongas I see in a morningly basis. I have my system and it works.

It is a risky system, however. It involves taking a towel and new pants to the shower with me. Which would be fine if the shower cubicle wasn't small and the forcet wasn't controlled by a sensitive, large button. Each time I reach precariously for my towel and pants (at this point I ask WHY, GOD, WHY DO YOU NOT ALLIGN YOUR HOOKS WITH THE OPENING OF THE DOOR, VIRGIN?? Why must I reach across to the hinge to pick up my dignity sized towel? Design flaw central) I make sure I am not so close to the door that my naked flesh touches it, but far enough away so I do not accidentally hit the water button in an unfortunate vigorous drying incident.

Most days I am successful. Don't get me wrong, I've performed this drill many times in my head. If the water does come upon me I will shoot my right arm in the air, saving my dry items, and use my left to hit the water button and resume as normal.

Today all did not go to plan. I hit the button and then everything went into slow motion. I heard the guzzle of the water about to exude from the pipe above my head and quickly whipped my towel high into the air, skillfully reaching to press the water button again. However as I looked towards the button I saw a white flutter out of corner of my eye, and had to watch, helpless, as my clean pants floated in the soapy puddle at my feet.

There was nothing I could do.

Cue me sliding out of the cubicle, in just a towel, spending five minutes under a hairdryer and the glare of 5 naked old ladies whose eyes seemed to say 'Why did you take your pants into the shower?'

Gymtastrophic.