Jamaican Me Crazy!

To set the mood.

Usually my Thursday morning 7am Body Conditioning class is just perfect. Leesa uses these CDs so everything is structured and you know you’ll have at least the odd break. The page says three sweat drops but I would say it rarely goes above 2 and you have a nice ab crunching session at the end where you can cool down and regain a regular body temperature at the end of the session.

But not this week. The CDs always make me laugh because I don’t really understand what the bad is saying. This week it sounded like “The Mega Fix Chicken Leg Work Out”. So that’s what I’m going with.

I will point out at this point that each section of exercise was accompanied by a repetitive Reggae riff. Which whilst had a nice rhythm to work to, it also made me feel like I should be I should be re-enacting this scene from Never Been Kissed...

Which I could only find in French. Apologies.

Here is the sequence of events (Bear in mind I don’t know if these are the real exercise names):

Round one

Burpies – Press Up Variation - Two step dash - Borrower Squats

a.       20 seconds work. 15 seconds rest.

b.      25 seconds work. 10 seconds rest. (More work less rest are you kidding me? It’s 7AM!)

c.       20 seconds work. No rest.

Round two

Squat Thrusts – Hot Hands – Sprint in place – Take Down (this is some sort of tribal looking lunge)

a.       20 seconds work. 15 seconds rest.

b.      25 seconds work. 10 seconds rest. (More work less rest are you kidding me? It’s 7AM!)

c.       20 seconds work. No rest.

Round three

Skaters – Crab walk (I am not coordinated enough nor do I have the upper body strength for this... I did a plank) – Two side step touch – Squat Jumps

a.       20 seconds work. 15 seconds rest.

b.      25 seconds work. 10 seconds rest. (More work less rest are you kidding me? It’s 7AM!)

c.       20 seconds work. No rest.

Round 4 YES YOU ARE READING THIS CORRECTLY THERE WAS A FOURTH ROUND AND I SUSPECT THERE MAY HAVE BEEN MORE BUT THIS TOOK US TO 30 MINUTES WHERE SHE TURNS OFF THE CD.

All 12 exercises. 20 seconds work. 5 seconds rest. Which is the equivalent of no rest because it gives you enough time to take a breath, remember what the next episode is and hold down vomit. Just...

The whole experience was improved greatly by the new man who has braved the morning exercise team and made everything look as theatrical as possible. A bit like this:

Good work out guys. Good work out.