Jefferstow's Road To The Marathon: Post 10: An Ode to running

Oh running, how can I describe thee?

Let me count the woes

I decided to use poetry

A form I also loathe. 

Our journey together started one year ago

A thousand miles we have travelled

I wanted desperately for some love from you

but you just left me completely unravelled

For the first six months, the pressure was low

We went out together once a week

I focused on my fitness, strength; and cardio

Any kind of variety I could seek

As winter set in, so did your colours true

Threatening illness, pain and injury

A twisted ankle that turned me blue

And chafing where no one else can see

Running, I learned you revel in causing pain,

From blisters to stabbing in my shins

Missing toenails, life's true bane

What did I do to deserve this? What were my sins?

As the battle between us became much more mental

I have cried and begged and pleaded

Don't make me go outside again, please be gentle,

A little support was all I needed

But you gave me nought but stress

Snow and flu and treacherous terrain

On the odd occasion when I finally felt YES

You just sent me lightning and cancelled my plane

Luckily for me, in my life I found solace

From my husband, friends and family

They gave generously from their wallets

Delivering kind words to encourage me

For these people I am grateful

Forever I will owe them for their care

Without them I would only feel hateful

And completely alone in this running nightmare

The marathon day has now come and passed

You tested every inch of my existence

So hot, that day, you tested every step to the last

But I finished, thanks to the crowds and my persistence

A hundred people have asked if I will keep playing your evil game,

Because I feel stronger now than ever before.

Even when all I've done is complain

People think I will be addicted to this dreadful chore

I wanted to like you, even fall in love,

Through every hardship I have risen above

But running, I have won, I have not caught your itch,

For Running; thou art a heartless bitch.

Jefferstow's Road To The Marathon: Post 9: The Final Countdown, International runs, and TREMENDOUS amounts of weight

I cannot believe The Final Week is actually here. It's a little under a year since I first got my marathon place. I definitely didn't know what I was in for at the time but (apart from multiple meltdowns) I'm proud to how far I have come and my current fundraising total is an incredible  £3,040 for which I do not have the words to thank those who have donated, not can I express how much this means to my beloved Auntie.

I've been planning a blog to show you all the pictures of the lovely international runs I've done during my training, the idea was I would finish up with a lovely picture across the croisette in Cannes, but if you needed any further proof my training is doomed, my flight was cancelled and subsequent days brought thunder and lightning so I didn't make it this time...

But first just to share an amusing story from one of my clients that I met in Cannes... As a disclaimer  I adore all my clients and they are lovely but often don't see me for large periods of time.
So on Monday last week, I was nearing the end of my meetings but looking forward to the next one, with a Dutch guy whom we had just concluded a deal with... the sun was finally out so I went out to the terrace to collect him for my meeting. He gave me a massive hug and exclaimed "Wow, Emma! Haven't you lost a TREMENDOUS amount of weight?!"

I must admit I was slightly speechless, I'm not sure if he was remembering me slightly fatter than I was... or maybe I underestimated how  big I was last year... or maybe it's simply true what they say about vertical stripes being slimming... regardless I decided to take it and the emphasis on the word TREMENDOUS as a compliment.... much to the amusement of my very 'supportive' colleagues...

When I got home I did decide to weigh myself as back in February I hadn't dropped a pound and I discovered I've lost... *drum roll please*..... HALF A STONE. yep. Three kilos. Seven pounds. And yes yes yes I know it's an achievement blah blah blah but I've been running FOUR TIMES A WEEK FOR THE LAST 4 MONTHS and all I've lost is half a lousy stone. And yes I know that it's not the number that counts and yes yes I do look slimmer and yes if one more person tells me muscle weighs more than fat I WILL drop kick  you in the face.... All I'm saying is it I weighed less I would have a lot less to carry around with me for 26 sodding miles and it would be  much easier.  There's just no justice.

Anyway. Enjoy some lovely international run pictures. Say encouraging things and sponsor me. This time next week I'll be smug and no longer a whiny little cow. I promise.

OCTOBER 2017: CANNES

JANUARY 2018: MIAMI

FEBRUARY 2018: WARSAW

MARCH 2018: STOCKHOLM

MARCH 2018: COPENHAGEN

APRIL 2018: LEIGH-ON-SEA (HOME❤)

Jefferstow's Road to the Marathon: Post 8: Inspirational Narcissism.

My last post was a little dreary.... I haven't been totally feeling like myself during my training because R U N N I N G S U C K S.... but the end is nigh and I felt the need to post something more uplifting and hopefully amusing.

So I came to a weird realisation this weekend. After hitting rock bottom and scraping myself along the jagged edges of the ocean floor for a month or so, I had a huge epiphany last weekend when I completed a 20 mile run that actually turned out to be 20.7 miles due to a crapola Garmin.

My epiphany: Runners are narcissists. 

Please allow me to elaborate.
For FULL context... I am an extrovert (gosh it feels good to finally admit that). The phrase "ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE" pretty much sums up my outlook on life. In recent years I have despised when anyone makes a point of called me LOUD or BOSSY - like these are temporary, fleeting elements of my life that might pass at some point. But they aren't. My voice is louder than most people's. When I try to whisper people just ask me to repeat myself so whats. the. damn. point. And Bossy? Knowing what I want and how I want to express it is bossy? OK. Well if I was a man would you say the same. NAH. MATE.
I *AM WHO I AM* and that person may be a few decibels louder than others - but those who love me miss that when it is absent, and where you might hear loud, I am actually just excited, happy and passionate and I no longer feel bad about being those things.
Since I was 9 years old I have performed on stage: singing, acting, dancing and I LOVE every second of it. I get to put my heart and soul into something and get uproarious applause for it - what's not to love?! I love being centre of attention but as I've grown older I have learnt when I need to take a step back, and I love it in the second row just as much.
With all the above in mind, I would like you to remember two facts: I am not a runner, and I am incredibly self aware.

So back to my epiphany; with clarification taking into account the above statement:  Runners are narcissists; and they are worse than those in amateur dramatics. 

To support this OUTRAGEOUS claim:

1. Running is an entirely lone activity. If you belong to a club or run in a group, fine, but you are still 100% out there to beat yourself and be better than every body else. You are number 1 and no teamwork is involve, nor ever needs to be.
Amateur Dramatics is about team work. Even if you have the lead role you *HAVE* to be a team player or you will lose respect of your fellow society members and may never succeed again. Your success isn't solely linked to your talents and training, but how you cope with the environment as well.

2. Culturally, by those who do not run, Running is considered some sort of mythical, magical, impossible task. Those who do not run because they hate it are in absolute AWE of those who run. Therefore runners get to automatically soak in  a huge amount of compliments and worship, sometimes without words.
In Amateur Dramatics - people will come and watch you, and often make comments that they "couldn't do what you do" - but the awe is much MUCH less. Performing on stage isn't anywhere near as daunting as running 10 miles (Maybe because it hurts less?!)


3. As stated above.... RUNNING SUCKS. It is literally the worst activity. It's bad for your body, it puts you under huge amounts of strain in your legs, hips, knees, shins, feet, back.... not to mention issues it can cause to your digestion, your lungs and your heart (it's shocking how many people die during marathons because running triggers a heart defect.). Someone told me last week even Mo Farah hates running - and even if he runs a decent distance he's barely outside for 2 hours... imagine how us normal folk feel. So to enjoy (or purport to enjoy) running, you really are trying your best to find something impossible to love, and love it... to earn the respect of those that can't get over that simple truth (that it sucks).
Amateur dramatics brings joy and entertainment to the masses, and that feeling is reciprocated by the performers. Need I say more?

4. Running makes you an instant inspiration. Seriously: READ my last blog post. Go on my social media to see how much I am hating training. Talk to my husband and let him tell you how many times I have sobbed uncontrollably in the last few months because I can't do it but I have to do it.
H O W E V E R.... In the last few weeks I have had a beautiful collection of amazing messages from people literally telling me I'm an inspiration. (Disclaimer: I am using the word 'literally' correctly, this word has been used). ALL I HAVE DONE IS MOAN but someone actually told me I had inspired her to get her trainers out... DON'T DO IT! I yell... but inside my heart is doing somersaults for how good it feels to know I've inspired someone to do something, even though I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. It feels so good - and good runners must be even more inspiring and therefore feel even better (I get it, guys, I'm not judging!)
I don't think one person has ever got on stage purely because I've done it.... And I would tell anyone to tread the boards just once, because its marvellous.

5. The smugness is insatiable. On Sunday, I set out for my 20 miles at 10am. I had been at an unlimited prosecco brunch the day before and could still smell it on my skin. I didn't really know how it would go, just that I *HAD* to complete it. My Garmin was playing up so I wasn't sure if it was accurate, but I ignored it and powered through until I got to 20 miles. I ran the entire way, even though intense shoulder pain and every part of me wanting to give up. When that 20 miles hit, I was about 500 yards from my home. I turned off my Garmin, turned on CAKE BY THE OCEAN on my phone, took my sweaty tshirt off and basically danced my way home. When I hoped the door my husband asked "Why are you smiling?"
Because I ran 20 m-er f-ing miles!
 No one else I was with at prosecco brunch could do that. My hubby couldn't have done that. My family couldn't have done that... but *I DID IT*. I felt so utterly smug and superior, to  no one in particular but myself... but who cares?! It felt GOOD knowing I could do something that 90% of the people I know couldn't currently do.
I have never felt smug when performing in shows, regardless of my parts. I've never felt anything but grateful. One of the best feelings of my life was when 600 people in the Palace theatre, Westcliff, gave us a standing ovation on the last night of Sister Act the Musical. That was an absolutely amazing feeling, but I didn't feel smug or superior, I felt an equal part of the joy that we had filled the room with.


So in short; Runners are narcissists. and they are worse than actors because they won't admit it. But it's okay guys, I know your secret now. I get it. Being an inspiration feels bloody lovely... but I would rather have my sanity and my shins.

3 more weeks to go!

Jefferstow's Road To the Marathon: Post 7: Peaks and really really deep troughs

It's taken me a while to work out exactly what and when to write my next blog post. My original plan was to write a witty and inspiring opener to 2018, talking about how excited I was to have achieved my goals so far and how excited and terrified I was for the next 16 weeks, following Virgin Marathon's training plan.

However, although I did achieve my goal of running a half marathon before the end of 2017 (completed 13.1 miles in 2 hrs 29 mins on the 31st December... Oh how I cried)... my Uncle was taken into hospital and under going serious treatment and physio since the day after Boxing Day. I didn't feel particularly positive, or like it was appropriate to be celebrating anything when my family was so far away and suffering so much.

We lost my Uncle Alwyn on the 11th January. He slipped away peacefully after one hell of a fight. We celebrated his life in a beautiful service on the 9th February; and also found out my cousin and his wife are expecting their second child in July.


It has been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions for a number of reasons as you can imagine, and as much as I wanted to, there just haven't been the words to express how I've been feeling; nor could it ever be my place to even begin to explain what a huge hole Alwyn has left in the lives of my Auntie and cousins. Over 100 people came to his funeral which is a huge testament to what a happy, cheeky and well loved man he was during his too-short time on earth.
For me, I will always be thankful for him for taking me to see Star Wars when they came out as those films play such an important role in my life now, for accompanying my singing on the piano multiple times; and for the best Donald Duck impression I have ever, or will ever hear.

In terms of my marathon training, things have also been a total rollercoaster. The Virgin Marathon training plan is INTENSE and involves running 4 times a week, with some sort of stretching in the middle. I can't even explain to you how much time and energy this takes up.
The mid week runs are a mix of Easy and Steady runs (which I love) and Interval runs; which are tough but very rewarding. Sundays bring the long runs. I hate the long runs.

After my semi-successful half marathon, I have really struggled on the long runs. The longest I've managed so far is 15.6 miles, which was a good day. But the week before I ran 14 miles and ended up sick in bed for the next 48 hours. I lost my confidence 3 weeks before that by running 10 miles in a bad mood which ended up with me crying my eyes out 4 miles away from my house with no way to get home except to run. I ran 10 miles on a treadmill to build my confidence again and ended up with under-boob chafing (I kid you not).

For the last 3 weeks the snow and illness have completely messed up my time table. I managed to run 5 miles with a mild chest infection. I don't know how I feel about that.

I have 6.5 weeks left to go and I have no clue how I'm going to get there. I've literally had to consult my diary and can no longer accept invites for plans until after 23rd April because I just do not have the time nor the energy to do anything except sit quietly at home on the evenings I do have spare.
I've never been more demotivated or tired but I need to keep going. I don't have a choice at this point.

There is no love in running, no joy, no freedom. It doesn't clear my head, it makes everything seem bigger, harder and worse than it seemed before I started running. I cannot wait for this to be over so I can tick it off my list and get back to being a cheerful, energetic person, and a nice wife to live with.

But so as not to end this blog on a depressing note, I am absolutely chuffed to say that I have reached my minimum fundraising target for Motor Neurone Disease. That doesn't mean I don't need more money, there is still no cure for this disease and they need every penny you can spare. I am so grateful for the financial and mental support you have all given me so far, I can't even begin to explain how much I've needed it.

I am also stronger and fitter than I ever thought possible. For 2 days after I ran the half marathon I could barely walk, that was only 9 weeks ago.... when I ran nearly 16 miles, I barely needed to stretch and I was absolutely fine the next day. Even with breaks due to travel, illness and snow, getting back on the horse hasn't been a huge trial. I can do it, my body is letting me to it... I just have to believe it.

Please keep saying nice things and donating money!

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon

Jefferstow's Road to the Marathon: Post 6: Take my advice

In my life I have noticed two types of people who seem to be constantly at the end of a barrage of advice, from people they know and love and complete strangers on the internet.

Those people are exclusively:

1. Mothers

2. Teachers.

I am not entirely sure why but something in both those professions seem to awaken to beast of unsolicited advice which pounces on them when they least expect it, and things can get quite nasty. I can only assume because everyone has a mother and everyone has had a teacher at some point in life, they feel they are qualified to give advice and opinion, whether called upon or not.

Everyone has an opinion on how a child should be raised and everyone has an opinion on how to manage a teachers workload. Sometimes reading through advice is interesting and informative but sometimes it plunges you into icy depths of further uncertainty and uselessness. Which is not helpful or fair. 

Being neither a mother nor teacher, I have only ever witnessed these scenes from afar, but have every sympathy as I grow older for those who do and put up with this behaviour. 

My sympathy has grown over the last few months because running seems to be third in the list of "People most likely to received unsolicited advice.
Marathons are not something humans are really built to do, nor it is something that comes naturally to someone who has spent the best part of the last 27 years doing anything but running. This means I have asked several people for advice. These people include my sister, who is a running fanatic who can run 5k in under 20 minutes (vom); the personal trainers at my gym, who are literally paid to know this crap; and the people in the Facebook group RUN MND, who are a partly a bunch of nutters who love running but mostly people who are passionate and encouraging about raising money for the Motor Neurone Disease Association. 

I have however received advice from: basically everyone I've ever mentioned the marathon to who might have done some running once

Now let me clarify, I also talk about the marathon a lot. A lot a lot a lot. The reason is because everytime I do there's a chance I will get some sponsorship money and a compliment 

*PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS MY ONLY MOTIVATION FOR INCESSANTLY MENTIONING THE MARATHON, MY TRAINING AND MY JUSTGIVING PAGE*

I literally want your money and your awe. I'll ask if I need more.

However everyone wants to give you their two cents on the event. Which is fine and helpful and wonderful in some ways, but what comes with giving advice is an arrogant ownership of advice which to the receiver of the advice sounds like IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I SAY YOU WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS AND FAIL. 

Dramatic, but true.

In the last 6 months I have been told I'm running too much, not running enough, doing too much running in one go, not having enough rest days, having too many rest days. I shouldn't bother with swimming. Swimming is great. I should run outside more. I should do more programmes on the treadmill. I shouldn't do Body Balance for core strength. I should do Body Balance for core strength. I should do these programmes. I should go on the cross trainer . I should just drink water. I should have protein shakes. Protein shakes are only for muscle building. I'll fall out of love with running. I should work out on Mondays. I should run three times a week and do strength training 3 times a week even though I don't have time. My time table is fine as it is. I should do more shorter runs. I should build up my distance. 

Several comments for the above:

• Cross trainers SUCK
• I will never exercise on a Monday
• Screw you I love swimming and body balance
• I hate running so there's nothing to fall out of love with
• How can I be doing both too much and not enough of anything?

This reminded me partly of a sketch from the ultimate episode of 30 Rock

 And also of a recent conversation with my heavily pregnant friend whom I asked if she needed to wash all her baby's clothes before she arrived... apparently even though I was just asking a (simple) question, she is going to be burnt at the stake for witchcraft regardless of the option she chooses.

Literally just shut up. Especially if you haven't been asked. The definition of ADVICE is "guidance or recommendations offered with regard to a prudent action." That's right GUIDANCE and RECOMMENDATIONS, not INSTRUCTIONS. Every single person is different and works in different ways. I happen to hate running and have very specific things that motivate me, which are probably different to things that motivate you. For example I know that 26.2 miles is a really long distance and if I don't gradually build up my distance I will fear I will never get there, so I need to do this to reassure myself. I also exclusively need to run to musical soundtracks. Also in my first three month plan, I hit all my goals, so I'm doing something right.

My overall message to you all, mothers, teachers, runners; and those who want to stick their oar in...

• Give advice only when asked
• Remember it isn't obligatory that your advice is followed
• Don't be judgemental
• Donate money to my page
• Give me a damn compliment

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon 

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 5: M.O.T.I.V.A.T.I.O.N.

I write this ironically from my sick bed after barely being able to run for five minutes in the entire week, but over the last 3 months I've ticked off my main goals so I'm ready to kick ass for the next 3 months, so I thought I'd write an exciting acrostic blog with some times on how I have motivated myself, in the hope that you - average citizen - can be motivated too.

( It doesn't fit in the acrostic but getting money on my page is also a huge motivator https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon )

Musicals - I have posted about this a million times but part of enjoying exercise is finding the right soundtrack. I would wager 90% of the reason exercise classes are so successful is not because of the carefully planned out routine or the over enthusiastic instructor at the front, but the kick ass sound track that goes along with it.

Maybe musical soundtracks aren't for everyone, but if you listen to a show from beginning to end, not only can you lose yourself in a STORY but there are natural ebbs and flows to the music that will help pick you up when everything starts to hurt. Most musicals also have a cheesy positive message about achieving your dreams... and all without except have tracks with an incredible tempo to run to. If you don't believe me - give it a try. My go-tos are Book of Mormon, Hamilton and Legally Blonde as a place to start... try it.

Out do yourself - Competition is very important in exercise, but can also be very dangerous. If you go to the gym with a buddy, or perhaps even feel like you need to be working faster/harder/stronger than the guy next to you in the gym, you risk being distracted from knowing your own limits and knowing what your body actually needs. 

What you need to do is to out do yourself. Keep track of your progress and do better next time. You won't always manage it but sometimes you will, and my gosh does it feel good. My method so far has been adding one mile to my runs each week, then running that distance until I'm running sub-10 minute miles. All of a sudden on my first crack I did 5 miles in under 50 minutes and then 6.2 miles (10k) in 59 minutes. In my exhausted state I felt such joy and running these times I sweatily punched the air and screamed for joy in the middle of the street. There is no feeling like it, because the only person who you can compare your ability to is you. Every is a different time, shape, have different commitments, different responsibilities... different metabolisms.... You can't compare so stop trying.

Timetable - it might be a bit OCD but you absolutely need a timetable and you need to stick to it - which means first of all you have to be realistic about your time and recovery. I have very little time in the week, but weekends are wider open, so I have to do a lot of my heavy work three days in a row...but Monday-Thursday I relax, stretch and swim to get my body ready for the next battering. After getting a realistic time table in place (which also meant accepting I would never ever get up at 5am to exercise on a Monday) it hasn't been a chore to stick to, and after 6 weeks it felt natural to get up and do what was on the list every day.

Intervals - I'd never attempted intervals before because, well I'm not a personal trainer and I don't know how things work, but I have been doing interval training for the last 3 months and it has been incredible. To begin with I thought just running for 20 minutes would feel pointless, but slowly but surely I built up to 40 minutes running, and increased my speed as well. I now have 3 different types of interval training I can mix up so I won't get bored, and even though it still feels like I should be running longer distances, this has done wonders for my speed and stamina and I can already feel how much stronger I am

Value - There has to be value in what you're doing. You need to know why you need to be motivated. It needs to be more than getting fitter or losing weight, there has to be a goal and there has to be a personal reason for it - something that gets you up in the morning, that pushes you to the next level, that makes you want to try harder. For me to begin with it has been raising money for a charity close to my heart... but now I am starting to achieve more I am overwhelmed by the urge to better myself and improve everything against myself. With this double sided motivation to raise money and to do myself proud, I have been feeling unstoppable. Until I got the flu. 

Anger - This isn't something I've been using recently but have found in the past that exercising while angry is incredibly motivating and helpful. I don't think you'll necessarily have your best session but if you do something like run, which hurts and fills your entire brain, you can escape. If you use the hormones anger produces for moving your legs, you're making good use of them and they'll soon be replaced by endorphins which will help you melt the anger before it eats you alive or you shout at someone you should. Sometimes even the frustration of exercise is motivating and I'm sure I've freaked a good few people how shouting "you can do this you fat cow" at myself whilst willing myself not to stop and walk (literally not joking. I'm mean to myself when I run). So next time you've had a bad day at work, put your trainers on a get on it.

Time out - There is nothing wrong with stopping and letting yourself rest. In your weekly time table and from time to time as well. Don't beat yourself up if you have a late one on a Thursday and can't get up on the Friday, or if you have plans on a Sunday night so can't do your regular run. I've done this a few times in the last few months and it hasn't been to my detriment, and in fact its stopped me from having rubbish sessions when I wasn't 100% on it as well. Luckily I got ill on a week I was planning to take easy anyway... Maybe that's why I got ill?! But weirdly letting myself have a week apart has made me super eager to get back on it. I don't think I've ever felt like that before #whoevenami

Instagram, Facebook and Tweet - I'm a huge fan of the old joke that you don't burn calories unless you post about it. This comes from people who constantly tag themselves in at the gym when you're sitting at home stuffing your face with pizza and watching Netflix. You roll your eyes at the person having less fun than you and who feels like they need to make you feel bad about your slobbish state.  HOWEVER - don't knock a good social media brag about your progress. Not only will you get likes and comments congratulating you (which feels great and you shouldn't be ashamed of that), but in the future you'll be able to see that and look back on how far you've come. Not long ago, after swimming 50 lengths in 33 minutes, I saw a post from 6 years ago where I was super chuffed to have swum the same distance in 50 minutes. Of course this isn't something I've worked tirelessly on for the last 6 years, but for someone who never got past her 25m swimming badge at school, this is is an incredible personal achievement, and I would never remembers how slowly I was swimming when I first started 6 years ago. 

Outfit - don't underestimate the power of a good work-out outfit. I've recently branched out into spending slightly more money on work out clothes and it has made a difference. I now have some awesome royal blue floral pants that go so well with my MND vest... which makes me happier to put it on, to be in public in it, and therefore gives me a more positive mindset when I get out on a run. Being comfortable is important, looking good and feeling good is important. The right trainers are important - not just for support but because of how they look and make you feel. I personally hate white trainers, so even if they were the most comfortable shoes in the world I wouldn't feel right in them and would want the bright pink alternative. I highly recommend getting a few pieces that you love and feel good on you when you exercise, 

Never give up - you can do this. You're awesome and gorgeous and capable. I promise. 

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 4: FUNdraiser

As I mentioned in my first post, there are only three reasons for humans to run. Especially long distances. Those involve only food, danger and good deeds.

However these three motivations can also be combined in order to be one huge reciprocal motivation to get the job done.

The last month or so has given me sudden anxiety and fear not about somehow running the distance from my house to the Dartford tunnel (ohdearlordwhydidIworkthatout?!), but how I'm going to make it to my colossal £2,500 for a charity that means more to me than I ever dreamed it might before I found out my Uncle was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease last year.

Don't get me wrong. I believe in the power of good. I have amazing friends, family and colleagues who are incredibly generous and who will give for the good cause and also because they admire the feat I am attempting to conquer... However I also know that many people firstly have lots of people asking for money for similarly excellent causes for similarly difficult challenges... and also that asking for money 9 months in advance when I can only run 4 miles is a big ask.

However I've been so far in awe at people's generosity. I've reach £400 of my target on the power of annoying people on Facebook alone. But the fact is I agreed to get £1000 to MNDA by the end of October, and a further £1500 by the end of May when I've completed the race... and sadly Facebook has a hide button for annoying sorts just. like me.

So this is where the three mighty powers of motivation shall combine together to make one huge pyramid of motivation, where not only do I get into my training but everyone is inspired enough to dig deep and throw lots of cash at me.

This formula roughly translates as me being terrified of not getting to my target, so I bribe people with FOOD which results in money for charity... which motivates me to run run run.

This is a very long winded way of telling everyone I threw my first fundraising event this weekend.
I'm not going to lie... I've been absolutely terrified in the run up. The premise was simple. I buy BBQ food. You come and eat the BBQ food. You put some money in the pot. Emma goes home happy.

But despite being the Fun Coordinator at my university's Operatic society, where I threw event after event with apparently no regard to how annoying or was or caring if people turned up, or even enjoyed themselves because I was just obliviously and unshakably convinced that they would. 

I am a very different person to who I was at age 21/22. My husband and most people I know will probably let you know it's definitely a good thing. I'm also much happier than I was at 21. The only downfall is that I've managed to develop this little thing called empathy, which currently makes me constantly terrified about what impact I'm having on other people...and whether or not I am making them happy (I desperately want to make everyone happy all the time. It's pretty much all I want for everyone in life).

This irrational fear nearly lead me to cancelling the BBQ a few weeks before because I wasn't sure I had enough yes's to make it worth it, and I didn't want attendees to think it was lame... So my husband jumped to action and invited some extras and motivated me to actually bug those who haven't replied for a response. Slowly but surely people realised they didn't have anything better to do, so agreed to rock up to my little shin dig.

Once the weatherman announced sunshine for the weekend, my anxiety slipped away as I got down to doing my favourite thing in the world... LIST WRITING!

I got everything organised, ordered some colour coordinated napkins and painted my nails to match. I spent a happy hour in Tesco buying a tonne of food and took it over to parents who kindly agreed to host.

Admittedly I was still a little anxious on the day and my husband (who is so supporting and awesome for standing in the midday eat over a fiery BBQ to make everyone's food) will tell you that I sometimes slightly over estimate how much time is needed for things like blowing up balloons and making salad. But he's wrong.

At 3pm on the dot the first guest arrived and for the next four hours around 24 of some of the loveliest people I know came, relaxed, ate food, drank Pimms and had a jolly good afternoon.

After everyone left I found I had raised £207 for my marathon pot, which means several people donated more than the recommended £5 for the afternoon of entertainment, and have increased my current fundraising pot by 50%.

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude, happiness and Pimms for everyone who came and even more glad for the fact everyone had a lovely afternoon. I don't know why I was so worried.


Thank you again to everyone who has contributed and joined in so far. My next event is a buffet meal in Southend., Essex, on the 20th October, and is open to all due to me not being the one to pay for the food! If you don't yet have the details please let me know!

A third of the way there and a third of the way through my journey

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon

  

The last picture is there to prove it wasn't just me and a skipping rope.

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 3: The Pain Addiction

I am now officially 3 weeks into my new shiny gym time table and not only have I stuck to it I have achieved the below:

- ran fastest 5km (sub 30 minutes if you minus traffic light waiting time)
- knocked 90 second off my swimming time for 40 lengths (1km)
- increased interval runs to 24 minutes 2 weeks ahead of schedule AND could have done more
- can tell 6kg weights (improvement from 2.5 - my arms are spaghetti)
- can touch the floor with fingertips and straight legs, and can reach mid-calf (in back with leg in the air, improve from only reaching back of my knee)

Three more weeks and the timetable will be a habit and I can build on everything towards the marathon. So easy. Generally I feel awesome but I wanted to share with you the best fitness tip I've ever picked up, but its only for the brave and those who, like me, have developed an affection for exercise that can only really fit into the BDSM category.

Everything about exercise hurts from your 5am alarm to the lock jaw you develop from straining during weights. But like with having children, the euphoric joy from that momentary, fleeting sense of achievement seems to completely extinguish the negatives from your memory and trick your mind into thinking you want more of that.

So, what is that tip I hear you cry?

FOAM ROLLING*

*to be pronounced only in loud booming voiceover voice

I was shown this technique by a personal trainer and bought my own mini roller at home and have never looked back.
The horrid thing one of the many horrid things about running is that it seems to make all the muscles in your legs contract and seize up, no matter how much you stretch.  The pain can be excruciating and it knocks you about ten steps back on any beneficial yoga you might be partaking in.
FOAM ROLLING* is basically a self inflicted deep tissue massage which (if done properly) is only for the brave and slightly sick in the head.

Here's a little video of me in my Aladdin pjs doing it wrong:

Now I can't film myself doing it right because:
1. I couldn't film myself as it takes every ounce of concentration and all four limbs
2. If I asked my husband to film me all you'd hear would be his excessive giggling at my grimacing and self inflicted pain

So to FOAM ROLL* properly you have to do it slowly. You have to use your other leg to put more weight on it and SLOWLY* work your way up each section of your leg, And every time you fine a tight muscle (which is every centimetre after a decent run) you have to rotate from side to side.

To know its working you need to feel like you have the thumbs of a thousand tint Eastern European women from your local spa digging their thumbs into that one section of your leg in perfect unison.

It hurts. So. Much. And you're doing it to yourself so you have to keep going. You have to torture yourself until your leg is white hot with pain. Because afterwards...

IT. FEELS. GLORIOUS.

Your legs will feel lighter than air and you'll want to immediately run again thanks to all your new found leg energy (legergy).
Exactly like childbirth.

That's all for now. Happy FOAM ROLLING* everyone.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 2: Winning and Fear.

I am now two months into my marathon training and 8 months until The Big Day. I want to say that things are going well. But they're also not going terribly. It's an odd feeling of uncertainty.

The month of May got off to a good start, lots of likes on my original post, people being generally admiring of my attempt to do something so hard; encouragement from those who have survived in the past, and emotion from my family who are my main reason for even attempting this whole thing.

However in June, my personal life took a dramatic downturn when my beloved puglet became ill and subsequently had to leave us for little puggy heaven. We only had her company for 6 months but she has had such an impact on us that this loss has impacted everything about my day to day life including my energy levels, which have been an at all time low.

RIP Princess ❤

Last week, in remembrance of Gloria, who was small and fearless, I decided to uncomplicate my training time table, work out what I like and what I don't like and then... JFDI.

For those who care:
Monday: Rest
Tuesday: 6am Swim (start at 40 lengths and increase, within time limit of 30-40 minutes)
Wednesday: 8.30pm Body Balance Class (for core strength, flexibility and balance)
Thursday: Rest
Friday: 20 minutes interval run (to be increased by 2 minutes weekly) and 10 minutes of upper body strength exercises
Saturday: 20-30 minutes of upper and lower body strength exercises; 30 minute Sprint cycling class
Sunday: Distance running (start at 5km, aiming for 10km in 60 minutes by October)


After six weeks of feeling like a failure, and the copious amounts of "we feel crap about life" take aways, I had one whole successful exercise and training. I pushed myself hard and not only managed to increase my gym going, but increased my reps of upper body exercises (my arms are actually spaghetti); I swam 40 lengths in 28 minutes and ran my fastest 5k (31 minutes 15 seconds).

Yesterday I was on a complete high and felt strong and back on track,

Then at 2am last night I woke up in a panic about the state of my fundraising.

I have to raise £1000 by October to keep in line with my agreement with the Motor Neurone Disease Association. I am already on £110 which is great progress. I am organising a little fundraising BBQ in August and next up I'll be looking for an all inclusive charity buffet meal of some description, to which you are all welcome.

It suddenly dawned on me that not only do I have to motivate myself to push my body harder than ever before; to go to the gym and train 5 days a week for the next 38 weeks (that's 190 times), to eat well, to spend decent money on trainers and running clothes, but I also have to motivate myself and inspire others to financially invest in the cause that is so dear to me so I can reach and exceed the expectations of the charity.

It feels like a huge weight on my shoulders and whilst I know my friends and colleagues are wonderful, beautiful and generous people, asking for money is hard and I can always understand the reasons people won't or can't.

Due to my 2am fundraising panic, I am now shattered and not looking forward to my 5.30am wake up call to go and swim tomorrow, but I will do it, I have to do it and I hope my determination will come across enough to move people into donating and attending any events I put on.

Its been a funny journey so far. In some ways I don't really feel like I'm achieving much or really know what I'm doing, but in others I've never felt more more in control and motivated. I don't know if these ebbs and flows in emotion are normal, or whether I'm just being dramatic, but I think my challenge is going to be to keep on going even when the last thing I want to do is put my trainers on.

But I need to, I have to, and I have to organise fundraisers and you suckers are my friends so have to attend and cough up the cash. #inspirationalquotesbyme

Kinda simple when you put it like that

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 1: There are only three reasons to run.

There are only three reasons that any human being should ever run:

1. If you are being chased
2. If there is food
3. If it is for charity


It's been one whole year (already!) since I last posted , and this also signals the last time I did something 1. remotely energetic, 2. remotely charitable.*

So this May, I have managed to stumble across a guaranteed spot in the London Marathon 2018, and I will be raising a minimum of £2,500 for the Motor Neurone Disease Association. This blog shall explain a little bit more of my motivation.


1. Why the Marathon?

I've completed a half marathon, I ran 100 miles in May 2016... Why on earth would I try to run 26 miles all in one go around London on a Sunday morning in April?

Every year see posts from friends about their marathon running achievements, how the event has profoundly affected their lives, and the thousands of pounds raised for wonderful and important charities. My dad and my sister have both completed it, and at the age of 21 I put it on my "Before I'm 30" bucket list.

Despite being terrified of the last minute, I do tend to trust my instincts and will make a spontaneous decision if I feel its right. It worked when we got a pug so when I got the email from MNDA offering me the place, I thought.... ¡¿Por qué no?!

I will be 28 on the 22nd April 2018 so the London Marathon will be a big fat tick in the "life goals" box.

I don't have much else on my list tbh.


2. Why the MND Association?

Motor Neurone disease is without a doubt the cruelest disease known to man. There is no rhyme nor reason, no cure, and it robs it's victims of their mobility, speech, ability to eat, and eventually their life, in a slow and painful way.

As some of you may know, my Uncle was diagnosed with this horrific illness around a year ago. Thankfully at the moment he is still able to play the piano (he is a terrific pianist) and cuddle his beautiful grandson.

They live far away from us so I feel utterly helpless in being able to support my family through this horrible time, but what I can do is run and raise money and help the group that have already been a huge support for my Uncle and his family.

To find out more about the MNDA please see their website: https://www.mndassociation.org/


3. Why so much money?

I have been lucky enough to secure a Golden Bond Charity place with the Motor Neurone Disease Association. This means I do not have to enter the public ballot and I am guaranteed a place, and for this privilege I promise to raise a grand total of £2,500.
The money I raise also covers the cost to the charity of securing Golden Bond places, a total of £330. Everything else I raise goes directly to MNDA.

As well as regular donations I plan to put on various events, bake cakes and generally generate some fun opportunities for you to join in and donate money whilst also getting something in return.

Its a big target and myself, my family and anyone affected by Motor Neurone Disease value your support.


https://www.justgiving.com/Jefferstow-Runs-The-Marathon


Over the next 12 months I will be resurrecting my Gym Blog in order to provide witty updates as to my training schedule and to continually beg for money and advertise my own little fund raising events as well. Part one will involved Body Balance and foam rollers. Get excited.

Here is my new best friend, my new (colour coded) Gym Schedule. Wish me luck. Prepare to be in awe. Donate. And don't forget to add Gift Aid.

Much Love

Emma xx

*Not entirely true. I did a 13 mile hike that was a 16 mile hike for my company's worthy charity, the MTV Staying Alive Foundation in September. It was sweaty.

Outrun: The Grand Finale: 100 miles

I AM DONE!!!

The last week has been tough but I managed to get there (Thanks for the pep talks everyone!) 100 miles in 30 days.

That's 17 and a half hours of donning trainers, leggings and a sports bra and putting one foot in front of the other as fast as I possibly could.

That's 20 days out of 30 I managed to motivate myself to do more than just sit on the couch.

That's an unthinkable amount of blisters, sweat and tears.

And it was all worth it - over £500 raised for Macmillan cancer support. I am so thankful for these donations as they encouraged me to keep going and I know that someone will benefit hugely from this money, and because of the nature of cancer - probably someone I know.

Below is my running schedule (of course I had a spreadsheet ;) ) so you can see how much I did each day, and can see how much I slowed down when my motivation was at zero!

www.justgiving.com/emma-stow-outun - still accepting donations!!

Outrun: Week 4: 88.05 miles down. How far is 100 miles anyway?

I am nearly there. 12 miles left and three days to do it in. Literally everything hurts and I can't be bothered but the donations are somehow keeping me motivated

I've realised now what I am doing is actually impressive, so to give some context I've had a look at how far 100 miles actually is so you can see how much effort I've had to put in over the last few months.

So.

100 miles = 160.934 kilometres = 160,934 metres.

That means 100 miles is:

- 402.33 laps of an athletics track

- 5 trips across the channel between Dover and Calais

- 3.8 marathons

- 32 Race for Life 5 Ks

- The distance (as the crow flies) from Southend to Belgium

- It is 3.3 times the width (West to East) of the entirety of London

So - pretty damn far!

Please keep sponsoring, I'm hoping to finish up in 2 more runs. And then never run again.

www.justgiving.com/emma-stow-outrun

Outrun: Week 3: 73.59 miles down. Legally Motivated

So I am nearly at 80 miles and determined to get to 100. I currently feel quite sick and horrible and mentally I'm finding it tough because running as a sole form of exercise is dull as dishwater.

So to liven things up, welcome to the Legally Blonde soundtrack, and five tracks that keep me going.


1. Track 3: What you want.

Not only is this about girl is achieving something seemingly ridiculous and unreachable, she gets there with some support friends and family and also the over arching motivation of:

LOVE, I'M DOING THIS FOR LOVE
AND LOVE WILL SEE ME THROUGH
WITH LOVE ON MY SIDE I CAN'T LOSE.

And that is also my motivation. Love. Love for my mother, for my friends who have and are going through continued struggles, from finding clothes when you've only got one boob to coming to terms with the next stage of your treatment. Love for the mothers who have not survived. For the lady at work whose friend lost her battle at the age of 28 and left behind 3 children under 7 years old. The heartbreak I feel every time I hear the C word is what I'm doing this for.

2. Track 6: Positive

The title speaks for itself but this is also where Elle's friends step up even more to keep her up beat and on game. My girl Chloe who is also doing the Outrun challenge is my Greek Chorus in this <3

3. Track 10: So Much better

This track is the one I end up actually bursting outloud in the gym to and then continue an extremely enthusiastic lip sync to. I might look like a nutter but it usually comes about 40 minutes into my run when I'm dying.
This song embodies everything I've felt over the last month, I've improved myself physically and mentally, I'm proud of the miles I've run and touched by the generosity of the donaters so far.
I feel So. Much. Better.

4. Track 11: Whipped into shape

Speaks for itself. I will always be a bit wobbly but I strongly believe that physically (and mentally) you need to whip yourself into shape and aim to be the best that you can be
Come on Emma, you heffer

5: Track 13: Bend and snap

Look at my ass, look my thighs, I'm catnip to the guys, they chase my tail, they drool and pant, wanna touch this but they can't... All the boys wanna come and play, snap my fingers and they obey, Why do they follow me around all day? Watch me while I walk away

Enough said.

Thanks for being queen of everything, Elle.

Outrun: Week 2: 44 miles down: Why am I doing this?

Ah the first words out of everyone's mouths... Why are you doing this?

Well below are a list of reasons to help you understand:

1. I have the uncontrollable need to compete with myself

2. Raising money for charity is a good thing

3. I strongly believe that for people to donate what you're doing needs to meet two criteria: a) it needs to be something ridiculous and stretching for you PERSONALLY (and for someone with a decent level of fitness that means more than a few k. And b) the charity needs to be something people can personally care and relate to.

4. I do not have enough spare cash to give as much to charities as I would like

5. It was free to sign up

6. I quite like the attention

7. I have witnessed first hand how amazing the Macmillan nurses are and how much support they offer to patients and sufferers of the big C

8. As I write this a beautiful and lovely lady I know who has been an amazing friend to my hubby over the years is waiting for biopsy results, which is scary and terrifying and it gives me even more motivation to keep going.

9. Marriage has made my legs wobbly.

10. The ultimate satisfaction thatI've raised over £250 so far and only halfway there!!!

So there you go, thank you for the admiration and donations,  keep them coming!

www.justgiving.com/emma-stow-outrun

Outrun: Week 1: 25.26 miles down

Phew,  7 days in!

There are several things I had forgotten about running regularly in the last two years:

1. Oh my days the blisters
2. It's boring
3. Oh my days the blisters
4. Several days spent walking like an old woman with incontinence
5. Oh my days the blisters

So in summary of my first week, my feet are basically two large blisters and my runs are already getting slow due to tiredness and the fact it is literally hotter than Ibiza today, but at least I can remember it's a bit more tortoise and a lot less hare this time.  Over 25% of my top target isn't bad in seven days, I'm working on the theory I can peter off more towards the end of the month.

My new house is also not ideally located for mid length runs, this morning I found myself jogging aimlessly in circles around water fountains just to get my mileage up.  It was quite a nice morning though and a trip down memory lane of many sunny afternoons with my grandparents as a child. One of whom I lost to cancer before we even knew she had it.

So please keep donating,  a lovely friend of mine has also been through surgery just this week, and a chance screening and quick work from doctors will have hopefully nipped it in the bud for her. I will keep running and keeping praying, all you need to do is donate a little cash.

Thank you ❤❤

Stow's Sweat Saga

Hello one and all!

Can you believe it's been nearly two years since I regaled you with joy in the form of my gym blog? Me either.

Well that was the last time I did anything interesting and exercise related - and also charitable.

Since then a lot has changed. I have a new house. A new job. A new name. A new gym.

That's right, kids, I spend a ridiculous amount of money am a David Lloyd gym member now! Not only is it a lush gym with an outdoor swimming pool, I have also found a love of Yoga and (shock horror) Spin classes. More on that later.

So having been married for just over 6 months it probably won't be any surprise to you that I've put on nearly 2 stone. The weight itself doesn't bother me but the wobbliness of my thighs and the approach of the chafey summer months does.

To kick start good habits of gym going to to get my legs back to a tone they have grown accustomed to, I am going to do something charitable. Slightly mental, but charitable.

Sadly over the last 2 years, the big C is something that finally got its grimy clutches on my lovely family. We are out the other side now but it has highlighted to me how incredibly important cancer research is, and what a fantastic job Macmillan do to support victims and families of this terrible disease.

Macmillan are challenging people to Outrun themselves in May. You have to challenge yourself to run further than you've ever run before, throughout the course of May.

On average I run about 5km - (3.3 miles) a week, so I need to do better than that. A LOT better than that. So of course I checked the highest box and I will be aiming to run 80-100 miles throughout May. That's approximately 5km a DAY. As I write this it is suddenly dawning on me how ridiculous this sounds, but I am determined.

I want to raise at least £204 which is enough to sponsor one Macmillan nurse for one day - which should also highlight how much money the charity needs to keep going.

I will be logging every run (which will be a mix of outside runs and treadmill runs) on MapMyRun and keeping you up to date on this blog in as amusing way as I can muster.

Please show love and encouragement and a bit of cash... Wish me luck!
https://www.justgiving.com/emma-stow-outrun
http://www.out-run.org.uk/

The Aftermath

So last Sunday - I DID IT - I ran (well, partly walked) 13.1 miles in 2hrs 26mins and 38secs. Well under the 2.5 hours I wanted - pretty impressive for someone who hadn't run outside since 2004 until 8 weeks before the race.

So here's my run down and analysis of the wonderful advantages of running a half marathon.


1. My feet have been given the opportunity to grow an entirely new skin.

Thanks to a rubbish first pair of trainers twinned with not being able to let my feet recover sufficiently, my feet are now regrowing a brand new layer of skin so despite looking like I put them in a shredder now soon the skin will be fresh and new like a baby's. Obviously.

2. I feel so close to members of the human race

One of the best parts was working out who you were running the same speed as. So many thanks to the lady running in memory of Janet, the woman in the red BHF tshirt, and the bloke with "Facebook Bosh" on the back of his shirt - you guys kept me going and I wonder if you noticed me. And a big wave into the distance for the 1700 people who sprinted ahead of me without a care in the world. Also the women with jelly babies and the adorable children holding out their hands for high fives were wonderfully motivating.

On the other hand - its amazing how much anger you can build towards the end of the race, presumably correlative to the general body pain. From 10 miles onwards people tell you "It's the last bit now" when it most definitely is not. And as for the casual pedestrians walking with their push chairs in the middle of path on the last stretch - there is a special place in hell for you.

3. I'll be fine if there is a zombie/alien apocalypse.

As long as the aliens/zombies walk at a steady pace and can't run for a long period of time - I can get a full 13.1 miles away from those mofos. #bringit

4. I am ridiculously aware of my knees

The part where they started to fizz around mile 11? That was a pure joy. I really feel like we are at one.

5. I can drink from a cup and run

Oh no wait, I can't. No one can. It's impossible.

6. I've managed to lose sixteen pounds completely and utterly maintain my weight.

Haven't shifted a gram up or down in 2 months (and I've been running about 16 miles a week). Makes it all worth it. Naaaaaat.

7. That said, my legs have got skinnier

Or maybe my leggings were washed on the wrong setting. Genuinely can't be sure.

8. Talking of new skin. My armpits need some.

Serious chafing. NOBODY WARNED ME.

9. The absolute joy of finishing.

For a good 90 minutes after finishing I was only capable of thinking one thing at a time. My first thought after finishing was "Oh heck, I don't know where anyone is, I hope someone comes to find me" My second thought was to grab an unsuspecting woman and demand to know the time. The happiness came when I realised I had got in in 2.5 hours. The happiness continued when Rob took my shoes off and promised me pizza. Beyond that, I had very little reaction to anything.

10. Most importantly, I raised an incredible £538 for Haven's Hospice - and some still to come in from people waiting on paydays. 

Thank you so much to everyone for the messages of luck and the donations, it was a great experience and in the cold light of a week later, I probably will do the same next year. I think this is a little like childbirth.

www.justgiving.com/jefferydoesahalfmarathon

Going the distance: The Soundtrack

I've blogged on gym soundtracks before but running outside needs a totally different type of motivation. Mostly because motivation is like an angry spontaneous child that wants cake one minute and a big cuddly bear the next

(www.justgiving.com/jefferydoesahalfmarathon)

10. Show tunes

Opening numbers and finales especially but this helped me hugely the other day... something about the Jewish esque music and the speed build up that made me push though when it really hurt:





9. Anything from the 90s

Need I say more?





8. Pop music generally





7. Anything with the word "Run" in it

Weird but true, even slow stuff... if it tells me to run I keep going going going....





6. DRUM BEATZ






5. Similarly.... WOOD BLOCK





4. Offensive Rap

No, sir. I am not a "Pussy'ole" and I will keep running to prove it.




3. Jamie T






2. The Queen of All Motivation Music: FASCINATION






1. The King of All Motivation: Air Traffic. 

Most of their stuff helps but this song in particular has it all, drum beat, build up, the word run... Thank you for getting me home so often.

Going the Distance: The Blisters

So as you should all know by now, I am running a half marathon in aid of Havens Hospices on 8th June this year.

 You can sponsor me here: www.justgiving.com/jefferydoesahalfmarathon

 Putting the link first in case you lose interest.

I have five weeks to go so I'm going to blog each week on a different aspect of my experience now I have officially frozen my gym membership until July to encourage me to run outside. 

The furthest I've run so far is 8.7 miles, average 11mins30secs per mile.


PART 1 - THE BLISTERS

So being economical cheap, I purchased a new pair of trainers for a whole £20 from Direct Sports (which is at least double what I usually spend on trainers for the gym). Please with my purchase I headed out on my first run (which you can read about in my previous blog).

Of all the things that hurt about training for a half marathon; the achey knees, sweat in the eyes, weird jaw pain, tiredness from waking up at 5am to get a run in before work... The worst is without a doubt The Blisters.

The cheap trainers left the insides of my feet absolute red raw. They would heal up a little in the next couple of days, only to be ripped apart again on the next run. I couldn't get more than about 2 miles without being crippled in pain. And whilst I did managed to get over 8 miles in those shoes, my feet will potentially never be the same again.

So Daddy bought me some new trainers.

We went to Runners Edge in Southend (shop my dad and sister swear by) and they put me in some shoes and made me run on a treadmill (which they film and make you watch back in slow motion, it's a very weird moment in anyone's lives). He then brought out a selection of shoes with will apparently fix my wonky ankles.

The whole process was a bit like when the optician says "Which is better, lens 1, or lens 2" and everyone (including the optician) knows they are both identical so you just give numbers arbitrarily until they seem happy and give you some glasses.

So I essentially did the same until I liked the trainers best. I guess they do feel more supportive but I don't really know how supported ankles feel so it's hard to judge. All I knew was my blisters were at peace in these new shoes.

Et voila! Two runs now complete and my existing blisters are fading into regular foot colour. Granted  I now have several mini blisters on other parts of my feet, but that's to be expected with new shoes, and they didn't impede the runs at all #winning

So if you're still with me, please sponsor, and look out for Part 2: The Soundtrack

www.justgiving.com/jefferydoesahalfmarathon

SupercalifragilisticerunningoutsideisNOTTHATatrocious

So I went into unprecedented territory last night and took my first ever run outside!

Dun dun dunnn.

The reasons I don’t run outside usually are as follows:

• It’s cold
• It’s dark
• People can see you
• People can see you who are not also working out
• I might get lost
• If I get half way and can’t move any further, what do I do
• I pay the gym £50 a month to use their facilities
• There’s no cup holders outside
• It’s cold.

So as the evenings are getting a bit lighter I thought I would give it a go, especially as so many people tell me running outside is easier than on a treadmill, and I just can’t get much below 35 mins for a 5k and I’m sure I can do it quicker.

So out I go! Water bottle in one hand, mp3 player in the other, Stacy’s Mom being my first inspiration of the day. Luckily I live somewhere where there’s a good “Block” that I can run around, it also has the advantage of having easy/medium/difficult levels (ie there’s a point where I can just go home or continue running for a bit longer) and I think if you did all of the options on the block the run is about 6 miles (lol). But the minimum is just under 3 so not bad going.

I ran out of breath pretty quickly and needed to walk for the second verse of Stacy’s Mom, but then I kept up the running for the rest of it, plus a whole Gwen Stefani song. Then luckily Music of the Night saved me and I walked for about 3 minutes.

Next up was a bit of Ashlee Simpson (running) and Blur (walking for half then changed track). I was about halfway through the run at that point, then I’m Blue (da ba dee da ba die) came on and even though I was at the bottom of a hill I cracked on. And you know what, that’s a bloody long song. Or it seems it when you’re halfway through a three mile run. So I got to the end and thought “YES! WALK” when to my suprise, on came my broadway musicals CD and Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.... which is possibly the best running song I have ever encountered. I positively bounced for the next two minutes before I need another 90 second walk.

By this point my feet were hurting (new running trainers = blistered foot arches) but I managed to break past the first “home run” point and got all the way up to the park, at which point I legged it past some yooves to the tune of “Reach” and sprinted down the hill home to the intro of Dizzee Rascal (little disconcerting seeing as the song starts with LAUGTHER).

I managed to run about 3.5 miles (5.6km) in 35 minutes (PB smashed) and I could have run further if it hadn’t been for my blistering inner feet so I’m pretty proud. And it really wasn’t as bad as I expected... Although please note the following:

- Running outside made my jaw hurt. I don’t know if it was the wind or how heavily I was breathing but at some points it was excruciatingly painful
- Running outside makes your thighs hurt. Treadmills don’t do this so need to remember some better thigh stretches.
- Running outside makes you feel like you have the lung capacity of 90 year old
- It isn’t people SEEING you that’s the issue, it’s them HEARING you. Seriously, when the music faded I couldn so people can see me all they like as long as they can’t hear the sounds of me breaking down like a piece of old machinery.

So I shall continue. Sunday morning is my next plan (blister permitting) and the real reason I’ve done this is because I was sort of challenged to run a Half Marathon for Havens hospices and thought “Why the hell not”


I have two months to get there. This should be fun, #gulp.