The Aftermath

So last Sunday - I DID IT - I ran (well, partly walked) 13.1 miles in 2hrs 26mins and 38secs. Well under the 2.5 hours I wanted - pretty impressive for someone who hadn't run outside since 2004 until 8 weeks before the race.

So here's my run down and analysis of the wonderful advantages of running a half marathon.


1. My feet have been given the opportunity to grow an entirely new skin.

Thanks to a rubbish first pair of trainers twinned with not being able to let my feet recover sufficiently, my feet are now regrowing a brand new layer of skin so despite looking like I put them in a shredder now soon the skin will be fresh and new like a baby's. Obviously.

2. I feel so close to members of the human race

One of the best parts was working out who you were running the same speed as. So many thanks to the lady running in memory of Janet, the woman in the red BHF tshirt, and the bloke with "Facebook Bosh" on the back of his shirt - you guys kept me going and I wonder if you noticed me. And a big wave into the distance for the 1700 people who sprinted ahead of me without a care in the world. Also the women with jelly babies and the adorable children holding out their hands for high fives were wonderfully motivating.

On the other hand - its amazing how much anger you can build towards the end of the race, presumably correlative to the general body pain. From 10 miles onwards people tell you "It's the last bit now" when it most definitely is not. And as for the casual pedestrians walking with their push chairs in the middle of path on the last stretch - there is a special place in hell for you.

3. I'll be fine if there is a zombie/alien apocalypse.

As long as the aliens/zombies walk at a steady pace and can't run for a long period of time - I can get a full 13.1 miles away from those mofos. #bringit

4. I am ridiculously aware of my knees

The part where they started to fizz around mile 11? That was a pure joy. I really feel like we are at one.

5. I can drink from a cup and run

Oh no wait, I can't. No one can. It's impossible.

6. I've managed to lose sixteen pounds completely and utterly maintain my weight.

Haven't shifted a gram up or down in 2 months (and I've been running about 16 miles a week). Makes it all worth it. Naaaaaat.

7. That said, my legs have got skinnier

Or maybe my leggings were washed on the wrong setting. Genuinely can't be sure.

8. Talking of new skin. My armpits need some.

Serious chafing. NOBODY WARNED ME.

9. The absolute joy of finishing.

For a good 90 minutes after finishing I was only capable of thinking one thing at a time. My first thought after finishing was "Oh heck, I don't know where anyone is, I hope someone comes to find me" My second thought was to grab an unsuspecting woman and demand to know the time. The happiness came when I realised I had got in in 2.5 hours. The happiness continued when Rob took my shoes off and promised me pizza. Beyond that, I had very little reaction to anything.

10. Most importantly, I raised an incredible £538 for Haven's Hospice - and some still to come in from people waiting on paydays. 

Thank you so much to everyone for the messages of luck and the donations, it was a great experience and in the cold light of a week later, I probably will do the same next year. I think this is a little like childbirth.

www.justgiving.com/jefferydoesahalfmarathon

Going the distance: The Soundtrack

I've blogged on gym soundtracks before but running outside needs a totally different type of motivation. Mostly because motivation is like an angry spontaneous child that wants cake one minute and a big cuddly bear the next

(www.justgiving.com/jefferydoesahalfmarathon)

10. Show tunes

Opening numbers and finales especially but this helped me hugely the other day... something about the Jewish esque music and the speed build up that made me push though when it really hurt:





9. Anything from the 90s

Need I say more?





8. Pop music generally





7. Anything with the word "Run" in it

Weird but true, even slow stuff... if it tells me to run I keep going going going....





6. DRUM BEATZ






5. Similarly.... WOOD BLOCK





4. Offensive Rap

No, sir. I am not a "Pussy'ole" and I will keep running to prove it.




3. Jamie T






2. The Queen of All Motivation Music: FASCINATION






1. The King of All Motivation: Air Traffic. 

Most of their stuff helps but this song in particular has it all, drum beat, build up, the word run... Thank you for getting me home so often.

Going the Distance: The Blisters

So as you should all know by now, I am running a half marathon in aid of Havens Hospices on 8th June this year.

 You can sponsor me here: www.justgiving.com/jefferydoesahalfmarathon

 Putting the link first in case you lose interest.

I have five weeks to go so I'm going to blog each week on a different aspect of my experience now I have officially frozen my gym membership until July to encourage me to run outside. 

The furthest I've run so far is 8.7 miles, average 11mins30secs per mile.


PART 1 - THE BLISTERS

So being economical cheap, I purchased a new pair of trainers for a whole £20 from Direct Sports (which is at least double what I usually spend on trainers for the gym). Please with my purchase I headed out on my first run (which you can read about in my previous blog).

Of all the things that hurt about training for a half marathon; the achey knees, sweat in the eyes, weird jaw pain, tiredness from waking up at 5am to get a run in before work... The worst is without a doubt The Blisters.

The cheap trainers left the insides of my feet absolute red raw. They would heal up a little in the next couple of days, only to be ripped apart again on the next run. I couldn't get more than about 2 miles without being crippled in pain. And whilst I did managed to get over 8 miles in those shoes, my feet will potentially never be the same again.

So Daddy bought me some new trainers.

We went to Runners Edge in Southend (shop my dad and sister swear by) and they put me in some shoes and made me run on a treadmill (which they film and make you watch back in slow motion, it's a very weird moment in anyone's lives). He then brought out a selection of shoes with will apparently fix my wonky ankles.

The whole process was a bit like when the optician says "Which is better, lens 1, or lens 2" and everyone (including the optician) knows they are both identical so you just give numbers arbitrarily until they seem happy and give you some glasses.

So I essentially did the same until I liked the trainers best. I guess they do feel more supportive but I don't really know how supported ankles feel so it's hard to judge. All I knew was my blisters were at peace in these new shoes.

Et voila! Two runs now complete and my existing blisters are fading into regular foot colour. Granted  I now have several mini blisters on other parts of my feet, but that's to be expected with new shoes, and they didn't impede the runs at all #winning

So if you're still with me, please sponsor, and look out for Part 2: The Soundtrack

www.justgiving.com/jefferydoesahalfmarathon

SupercalifragilisticerunningoutsideisNOTTHATatrocious

So I went into unprecedented territory last night and took my first ever run outside!

Dun dun dunnn.

The reasons I don’t run outside usually are as follows:

• It’s cold
• It’s dark
• People can see you
• People can see you who are not also working out
• I might get lost
• If I get half way and can’t move any further, what do I do
• I pay the gym £50 a month to use their facilities
• There’s no cup holders outside
• It’s cold.

So as the evenings are getting a bit lighter I thought I would give it a go, especially as so many people tell me running outside is easier than on a treadmill, and I just can’t get much below 35 mins for a 5k and I’m sure I can do it quicker.

So out I go! Water bottle in one hand, mp3 player in the other, Stacy’s Mom being my first inspiration of the day. Luckily I live somewhere where there’s a good “Block” that I can run around, it also has the advantage of having easy/medium/difficult levels (ie there’s a point where I can just go home or continue running for a bit longer) and I think if you did all of the options on the block the run is about 6 miles (lol). But the minimum is just under 3 so not bad going.

I ran out of breath pretty quickly and needed to walk for the second verse of Stacy’s Mom, but then I kept up the running for the rest of it, plus a whole Gwen Stefani song. Then luckily Music of the Night saved me and I walked for about 3 minutes.

Next up was a bit of Ashlee Simpson (running) and Blur (walking for half then changed track). I was about halfway through the run at that point, then I’m Blue (da ba dee da ba die) came on and even though I was at the bottom of a hill I cracked on. And you know what, that’s a bloody long song. Or it seems it when you’re halfway through a three mile run. So I got to the end and thought “YES! WALK” when to my suprise, on came my broadway musicals CD and Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.... which is possibly the best running song I have ever encountered. I positively bounced for the next two minutes before I need another 90 second walk.

By this point my feet were hurting (new running trainers = blistered foot arches) but I managed to break past the first “home run” point and got all the way up to the park, at which point I legged it past some yooves to the tune of “Reach” and sprinted down the hill home to the intro of Dizzee Rascal (little disconcerting seeing as the song starts with LAUGTHER).

I managed to run about 3.5 miles (5.6km) in 35 minutes (PB smashed) and I could have run further if it hadn’t been for my blistering inner feet so I’m pretty proud. And it really wasn’t as bad as I expected... Although please note the following:

- Running outside made my jaw hurt. I don’t know if it was the wind or how heavily I was breathing but at some points it was excruciatingly painful
- Running outside makes your thighs hurt. Treadmills don’t do this so need to remember some better thigh stretches.
- Running outside makes you feel like you have the lung capacity of 90 year old
- It isn’t people SEEING you that’s the issue, it’s them HEARING you. Seriously, when the music faded I couldn so people can see me all they like as long as they can’t hear the sounds of me breaking down like a piece of old machinery.

So I shall continue. Sunday morning is my next plan (blister permitting) and the real reason I’ve done this is because I was sort of challenged to run a Half Marathon for Havens hospices and thought “Why the hell not”


I have two months to get there. This should be fun, #gulp.

The Rainbow Effect and Other Distractions for Unmotivated Gym Goers

Happy middle of March to you all! Since my last blog I've managed to lose an extra half a stone (even though my gym going has been rudely interrupted by trips to Iceland, birthdays, interviews, new job achieving, getting engaged, and well a huge case of CBA). I'm feeling a lot slimmer (and more people have noticed, well done, previous blog), I bought another pair of jeans AND during ski jumps and the ladder move in Body Attack yesterday I couldn't feel my stomach moving independently to the rest of my body - GET. IN.
Also luckily enough I started this get fit regime a good half a year before I get engaged so if you see me at the gym or ordering salads it has nothing to do with wanting to be a little bit smaller for my wedding dress. HONEST.

(Disclaimer: I will never order salad. Unless in involves bacon. But even then it's unlikely).

This blog is aimed to give some of you some advice on how to improve your gymotivation. I, like many people, cannot afford a personal trainer, nor do they need the humiliation of having someone monitor how fit you're getting (I'm quite happy assuming I'm improving by myself thankyouverymuch) and I, like many people, am easily distracted and need something to keep me running, swimming, cycling or just generally not leaving the gym class half way though.  So here are some ways I try to keep myself going at (and going to) the gym.

1. Go to gym CLASSES

They are free with your gym membership so you might as well, plus you get the benefits of a fully trained professional sports-type person, without paying for the one on one treatment. They are not only motivating but they advise you on how to do things safely (even things like squatting and planking) so you can take away knowledge and try it yourself. Also you are there for an hour and therefore guaranteed to exercise for a full hour. Winning.

2. Write down your gym trips in your diary.

The written word is a powerful thing. By writing that you will go to the gym somewhere you are finalising it, and it becomes part of your weekly routine. Simples!

3. Run by songs, not minutes or distance.

Distance and time are both very set things. Songs, however, are not. It's much more satisfying not knowing exactly when you will finish running, or walking, because if you say "Oh I'll run for a minute - maybe you have energy for more and this method will bore you, or maybe a minute is too long so it would be hugely demotivating. I tend to go for "Two lively songs running, one slow song walking". The songs come up at random and sometimes they are three minutes long, sometimes they are six minutes, so it's a bit of a gamble. Also because it's not set you feel freer so if you need to give up a sprint halfway through a song you don't feel guilty.

4. Don't be afraid of your limits

Don't push yourself further than you really know you can. And don't be ashamed when you can't live up to your expectations. I booked gym classes for 9am on Saturday and 8am Sunday. In the end I stayed up late Friday and Saturday nights. I made it to the Saturday class but I welcomes the sleep on Sunday. I haven't become obese or unfit from missing one morning, booking the class meant I knew it was available if I happened to wake up early, but I'm not missing out if I haven't gone. Also on occasions I've tried to run when I'm either too tired or too full from eating and end up feeling sick, dizzy and not working out half as well as I wanted to - very demotivating.

5. The Rainbow Effect (C)

This is my self-coined phrase which never fails to motivated me. Historically I used it to help motivate a friend of mine who was struggling with work and teacher training. I likened the process to a rainbow, because the first half is tough and uphill, and the second half is a beautiful downhill slide. Moreover the rainbow metaphor works twofold because rainbows are beautiful - so even if things seem uphill and difficult, what you are working towards is worth it and beautiful in itself.

So yes at the gym this is how it works:

Work out how far or long you want to work out for.
Divide that distance or time in half
Spend the first half counting up
Spend the second half counting down

Simple huh? I do this every time I swim. I aim to do 32 lengths. I swim 16 counting 1-16, then I swim 16 counting 16-1. This means I'm never reaching any scary high numbers which psychologically make me feel I'm doing more than I can handle, plus zero is a definitely number. 32 is open and incomplete feeling whereas after zero, I can't go any further, so not only have I achieved my aim but I feel like I have really accomplished something.

So - give them a go and happy gym-going everyone!

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it... does it still lose weight?

Good morning Jeffery’s Gym Blog fans and happy new year!

It’s the time of year to get a bit profound, so I’ve been planning my profundity for a little while now.

About six months ago I was very stressed and almost developed a stomach ulcer (whoops). Reading up on them the general advice was chill out and eat better, and losing any  excess weight could help. I also connected this with the fact that spending £49 a month on a gym membership was stressful if I wasn’t using it, and generally exercise is good for stress so I thought – why not eh? Also a happy side effect of the stomach issue was that my stomach shrunk a tad so I actually found I couldn’t eat as big portions as I have been able to previously. Good times.

I have told a few people how much I weigh and am generally met with surprise. A good friend guessed I weighed about 10 stone (naww bless you) , I think she was underestimating to be nice. But no I actually clocked the scales at about 13 stone (about 82kg). Which makes me laugh because it seems like a lot, but actually my BMI is only just slightly into the overweight section... and whilst I’m aware I’m not skinny I’m definitely not huge. Especially as I know people who are about a foot taller than me that weigh between 13 and 15 stone. Perhaps I actually just have heavy bones. Damn that adamantium skeleton. 

So I set myself a bit of a mission to get into a good 3-times-a-week gym routine and just generally eat a little less. For example sandwiches/food I can eat for lunch from home would save me a lot of money I waste on buying snacks during the day at work. And although I do feel very hungry sometimes I know that in reality it is enough food so I should stop eating.

I didn’t really have an aim at first, I only actually started weighing myself in about October. I just didn't want to tell anyone because if you tell people you're trying to get fitter, you'll only feel stupid if you don't, so this way it's less pressure, and something my BFF Stephen (not his real name) said made me think. Can't remember exactly what it was but it was a sarky comment about going whether it still counted if you went to the gym but didn't tell anyone. 

Let’s have a little bit of body analysis first.

My “Problem” areas (inverted commas because I have the ego the size of a hot air balloon and I don’t see much, if any of me as a “Problem” in any way... but here we go)

•          The tops of my legs. The rest are fine but sometimes in the summer I get that little bit of thigh chafage (pronounced cha-farrrge) in the heat.
•            My stomach. Bit wobbly
•           My hips. They are just gigantic and always will be, but it’s the muffin topping that generally stops me wearing jeans that’s an issue

That’s about it really. My arms are wonderful and I don’t have a fat face and my lady lumps are a good size, and nice and pert #winning. I think I have good genes for that because my mother doesn’t have bingo wings nor cellulite and I also am fortunate to not suffer from either of these things. I also have a brilliant excellent arse. (I warned you about my ego)

My achievements in the last six months

•           I can run 5km on a treadmill in 34 mins 38 secs (over 5 minutes faster than my first attempt)
•           I can swim 30 lengths in about 25 mins (I am a terrible swimmer and up until last year was terrified of taking my glasses off in the pool)
•           I can get to the end of a Body Combat and Body Attack class without taking any of the easier/low impact options
•           I can run from Tower Hill to Fenchurch street (including stairs) without rendering myself a heavy breathing mess
•           I haven’t needed a massage for my shitty shoulder for two months
•           On New year’s eve I ran 10km on the treadmill and did it in 74 mins and 31 seconds – 5 and a half minutes quicker than I was aiming for.

Other side effects:

•           I have more money
•           My arms are skinnier. And my fingers. Please note this was specifically NOT on my “Problem” list. *grumble*
•           Muffin top has gone! Winning. I even bought some jeans and a pair of fitted trousers over Christmas
•          My stomach is flatter (for the most part. Please ignore current cider/wine-belly.
•     My stomach is pretty much the same size at the end of the day as it is in the morning.
•           I get really moody when I don’t get to go to the gym for reasons out of my control. Including when those reasons involves socialising.
•           I haven’t had a cold, cough, bug or flu for several months
•           I have lost weight!

And, as I’m sure you’re all desperate to know, I now (even with Christmas) weigh.... *drum roll*

12.1 Stone, (77kg)

Waheyyy *bows*

And you know what. Not a single one of you has noticed. One lady in my office commented that I had lost weight recently, but no one else. Not my best friends, not my darling boyfriend, not my family – including my dad who is trying to lose weight recently. Not people I told I was going to the gym regularly. And most importantly not people who I know are obsessed with their own fitness or diet routine.

Every day someone on my news feed on Facebook or Twitter mentions going to the gym or losing weight. And in all honesty I rarely actually notice when someone has lost weight unless it’s a significant amount – which let’s face it: not many people do lose a significant amount of weight on a regular basis because 1. They don’t need to. 2. It’s bloody hard.

What I have learnt from this little experiment is the very very sad truth that people I know do not love themselves enough. So much of their time and energy is put into exercising, dieting and telling people they have done so on social media or in the office, or probably at the gym itself, yet does it make them happier? Really? No!

Maybe no one commented in case I took offence (likely I’m a bit overemotional at times), or maybe you simply didn’t notice? So why do you notice 2 or 3 pounds on yourself when you don’t notice when someone else loses 13 of them?! Possibly because mass does not equal self worth.

I lost nearly a stone of weight and yes I do feel better for it. I am happier in my clothes and even wore something very tight fitting on New Year’s, which usually I’d wimp out on doing. And I did all this without confirmation from anyone that I looked better, healthier, skinnier. I just look in the mirror and am happier with myself.  I like my gym routine. It’s actually quite fun and I’m gutted my favourite gym instructor is leaving in February. Going to the gym is a good use of energy when I find myself sat on my arse at a desk day in, day out, and don’t get much of a chance to get up and do anything energetic in my spare time (especially now I don’t have rehearsals). I also have a bit more money so I’ve had a little bit left each month to save for my future which also makes me happy.

Now 2014 is upon us I am going to continue in my gym routine and my half arsed “Just eat a little bit less but I still love food omg is that a fajita” sort of form of dieting and hopefully I will lose enough weight to put my BMI back to regular amounts because in 2015 or 16 I want to run the London Marathon and I want to be in better physical shape before I start running.

I hope that at least one of your New Year’s Resolutions is to love yourself a bit more. Know that having a take away isn’t something you need to feel guilty about the next day.  As long as you are healthy and happy that is the main thing, you don’t need validation from others, and if you do take it from me you are perfect and beautiful and I love you for it. If you need to lose a little bit of weight, or want to, please do because it does make you happier, but do it for you. 

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to be high and mighty. I haven't done this in a sort of Anna Richardsonesque documentary fashion. I honestly just want you to love yourself and you can carry on ignoring my weight loss and fitness regime if you like. I will probably carry on not noticing yours but thinking you're beautiful anyway.