Jefferstow's Road to the Marathon: Post 6: Take my advice

In my life I have noticed two types of people who seem to be constantly at the end of a barrage of advice, from people they know and love and complete strangers on the internet.

Those people are exclusively:

1. Mothers

2. Teachers.

I am not entirely sure why but something in both those professions seem to awaken to beast of unsolicited advice which pounces on them when they least expect it, and things can get quite nasty. I can only assume because everyone has a mother and everyone has had a teacher at some point in life, they feel they are qualified to give advice and opinion, whether called upon or not.

Everyone has an opinion on how a child should be raised and everyone has an opinion on how to manage a teachers workload. Sometimes reading through advice is interesting and informative but sometimes it plunges you into icy depths of further uncertainty and uselessness. Which is not helpful or fair. 

Being neither a mother nor teacher, I have only ever witnessed these scenes from afar, but have every sympathy as I grow older for those who do and put up with this behaviour. 

My sympathy has grown over the last few months because running seems to be third in the list of "People most likely to received unsolicited advice.
Marathons are not something humans are really built to do, nor it is something that comes naturally to someone who has spent the best part of the last 27 years doing anything but running. This means I have asked several people for advice. These people include my sister, who is a running fanatic who can run 5k in under 20 minutes (vom); the personal trainers at my gym, who are literally paid to know this crap; and the people in the Facebook group RUN MND, who are a partly a bunch of nutters who love running but mostly people who are passionate and encouraging about raising money for the Motor Neurone Disease Association. 

I have however received advice from: basically everyone I've ever mentioned the marathon to who might have done some running once

Now let me clarify, I also talk about the marathon a lot. A lot a lot a lot. The reason is because everytime I do there's a chance I will get some sponsorship money and a compliment 

*PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS MY ONLY MOTIVATION FOR INCESSANTLY MENTIONING THE MARATHON, MY TRAINING AND MY JUSTGIVING PAGE*

I literally want your money and your awe. I'll ask if I need more.

However everyone wants to give you their two cents on the event. Which is fine and helpful and wonderful in some ways, but what comes with giving advice is an arrogant ownership of advice which to the receiver of the advice sounds like IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT I SAY YOU WILL BREAK YOUR LEGS AND FAIL. 

Dramatic, but true.

In the last 6 months I have been told I'm running too much, not running enough, doing too much running in one go, not having enough rest days, having too many rest days. I shouldn't bother with swimming. Swimming is great. I should run outside more. I should do more programmes on the treadmill. I shouldn't do Body Balance for core strength. I should do Body Balance for core strength. I should do these programmes. I should go on the cross trainer . I should just drink water. I should have protein shakes. Protein shakes are only for muscle building. I'll fall out of love with running. I should work out on Mondays. I should run three times a week and do strength training 3 times a week even though I don't have time. My time table is fine as it is. I should do more shorter runs. I should build up my distance. 

Several comments for the above:

• Cross trainers SUCK
• I will never exercise on a Monday
• Screw you I love swimming and body balance
• I hate running so there's nothing to fall out of love with
• How can I be doing both too much and not enough of anything?

This reminded me partly of a sketch from the ultimate episode of 30 Rock

 And also of a recent conversation with my heavily pregnant friend whom I asked if she needed to wash all her baby's clothes before she arrived... apparently even though I was just asking a (simple) question, she is going to be burnt at the stake for witchcraft regardless of the option she chooses.

Literally just shut up. Especially if you haven't been asked. The definition of ADVICE is "guidance or recommendations offered with regard to a prudent action." That's right GUIDANCE and RECOMMENDATIONS, not INSTRUCTIONS. Every single person is different and works in different ways. I happen to hate running and have very specific things that motivate me, which are probably different to things that motivate you. For example I know that 26.2 miles is a really long distance and if I don't gradually build up my distance I will fear I will never get there, so I need to do this to reassure myself. I also exclusively need to run to musical soundtracks. Also in my first three month plan, I hit all my goals, so I'm doing something right.

My overall message to you all, mothers, teachers, runners; and those who want to stick their oar in...

• Give advice only when asked
• Remember it isn't obligatory that your advice is followed
• Don't be judgemental
• Donate money to my page
• Give me a damn compliment

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon 

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 5: M.O.T.I.V.A.T.I.O.N.

I write this ironically from my sick bed after barely being able to run for five minutes in the entire week, but over the last 3 months I've ticked off my main goals so I'm ready to kick ass for the next 3 months, so I thought I'd write an exciting acrostic blog with some times on how I have motivated myself, in the hope that you - average citizen - can be motivated too.

( It doesn't fit in the acrostic but getting money on my page is also a huge motivator https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon )

Musicals - I have posted about this a million times but part of enjoying exercise is finding the right soundtrack. I would wager 90% of the reason exercise classes are so successful is not because of the carefully planned out routine or the over enthusiastic instructor at the front, but the kick ass sound track that goes along with it.

Maybe musical soundtracks aren't for everyone, but if you listen to a show from beginning to end, not only can you lose yourself in a STORY but there are natural ebbs and flows to the music that will help pick you up when everything starts to hurt. Most musicals also have a cheesy positive message about achieving your dreams... and all without except have tracks with an incredible tempo to run to. If you don't believe me - give it a try. My go-tos are Book of Mormon, Hamilton and Legally Blonde as a place to start... try it.

Out do yourself - Competition is very important in exercise, but can also be very dangerous. If you go to the gym with a buddy, or perhaps even feel like you need to be working faster/harder/stronger than the guy next to you in the gym, you risk being distracted from knowing your own limits and knowing what your body actually needs. 

What you need to do is to out do yourself. Keep track of your progress and do better next time. You won't always manage it but sometimes you will, and my gosh does it feel good. My method so far has been adding one mile to my runs each week, then running that distance until I'm running sub-10 minute miles. All of a sudden on my first crack I did 5 miles in under 50 minutes and then 6.2 miles (10k) in 59 minutes. In my exhausted state I felt such joy and running these times I sweatily punched the air and screamed for joy in the middle of the street. There is no feeling like it, because the only person who you can compare your ability to is you. Every is a different time, shape, have different commitments, different responsibilities... different metabolisms.... You can't compare so stop trying.

Timetable - it might be a bit OCD but you absolutely need a timetable and you need to stick to it - which means first of all you have to be realistic about your time and recovery. I have very little time in the week, but weekends are wider open, so I have to do a lot of my heavy work three days in a row...but Monday-Thursday I relax, stretch and swim to get my body ready for the next battering. After getting a realistic time table in place (which also meant accepting I would never ever get up at 5am to exercise on a Monday) it hasn't been a chore to stick to, and after 6 weeks it felt natural to get up and do what was on the list every day.

Intervals - I'd never attempted intervals before because, well I'm not a personal trainer and I don't know how things work, but I have been doing interval training for the last 3 months and it has been incredible. To begin with I thought just running for 20 minutes would feel pointless, but slowly but surely I built up to 40 minutes running, and increased my speed as well. I now have 3 different types of interval training I can mix up so I won't get bored, and even though it still feels like I should be running longer distances, this has done wonders for my speed and stamina and I can already feel how much stronger I am

Value - There has to be value in what you're doing. You need to know why you need to be motivated. It needs to be more than getting fitter or losing weight, there has to be a goal and there has to be a personal reason for it - something that gets you up in the morning, that pushes you to the next level, that makes you want to try harder. For me to begin with it has been raising money for a charity close to my heart... but now I am starting to achieve more I am overwhelmed by the urge to better myself and improve everything against myself. With this double sided motivation to raise money and to do myself proud, I have been feeling unstoppable. Until I got the flu. 

Anger - This isn't something I've been using recently but have found in the past that exercising while angry is incredibly motivating and helpful. I don't think you'll necessarily have your best session but if you do something like run, which hurts and fills your entire brain, you can escape. If you use the hormones anger produces for moving your legs, you're making good use of them and they'll soon be replaced by endorphins which will help you melt the anger before it eats you alive or you shout at someone you should. Sometimes even the frustration of exercise is motivating and I'm sure I've freaked a good few people how shouting "you can do this you fat cow" at myself whilst willing myself not to stop and walk (literally not joking. I'm mean to myself when I run). So next time you've had a bad day at work, put your trainers on a get on it.

Time out - There is nothing wrong with stopping and letting yourself rest. In your weekly time table and from time to time as well. Don't beat yourself up if you have a late one on a Thursday and can't get up on the Friday, or if you have plans on a Sunday night so can't do your regular run. I've done this a few times in the last few months and it hasn't been to my detriment, and in fact its stopped me from having rubbish sessions when I wasn't 100% on it as well. Luckily I got ill on a week I was planning to take easy anyway... Maybe that's why I got ill?! But weirdly letting myself have a week apart has made me super eager to get back on it. I don't think I've ever felt like that before #whoevenami

Instagram, Facebook and Tweet - I'm a huge fan of the old joke that you don't burn calories unless you post about it. This comes from people who constantly tag themselves in at the gym when you're sitting at home stuffing your face with pizza and watching Netflix. You roll your eyes at the person having less fun than you and who feels like they need to make you feel bad about your slobbish state.  HOWEVER - don't knock a good social media brag about your progress. Not only will you get likes and comments congratulating you (which feels great and you shouldn't be ashamed of that), but in the future you'll be able to see that and look back on how far you've come. Not long ago, after swimming 50 lengths in 33 minutes, I saw a post from 6 years ago where I was super chuffed to have swum the same distance in 50 minutes. Of course this isn't something I've worked tirelessly on for the last 6 years, but for someone who never got past her 25m swimming badge at school, this is is an incredible personal achievement, and I would never remembers how slowly I was swimming when I first started 6 years ago. 

Outfit - don't underestimate the power of a good work-out outfit. I've recently branched out into spending slightly more money on work out clothes and it has made a difference. I now have some awesome royal blue floral pants that go so well with my MND vest... which makes me happier to put it on, to be in public in it, and therefore gives me a more positive mindset when I get out on a run. Being comfortable is important, looking good and feeling good is important. The right trainers are important - not just for support but because of how they look and make you feel. I personally hate white trainers, so even if they were the most comfortable shoes in the world I wouldn't feel right in them and would want the bright pink alternative. I highly recommend getting a few pieces that you love and feel good on you when you exercise, 

Never give up - you can do this. You're awesome and gorgeous and capable. I promise. 

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 4: FUNdraiser

As I mentioned in my first post, there are only three reasons for humans to run. Especially long distances. Those involve only food, danger and good deeds.

However these three motivations can also be combined in order to be one huge reciprocal motivation to get the job done.

The last month or so has given me sudden anxiety and fear not about somehow running the distance from my house to the Dartford tunnel (ohdearlordwhydidIworkthatout?!), but how I'm going to make it to my colossal £2,500 for a charity that means more to me than I ever dreamed it might before I found out my Uncle was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease last year.

Don't get me wrong. I believe in the power of good. I have amazing friends, family and colleagues who are incredibly generous and who will give for the good cause and also because they admire the feat I am attempting to conquer... However I also know that many people firstly have lots of people asking for money for similarly excellent causes for similarly difficult challenges... and also that asking for money 9 months in advance when I can only run 4 miles is a big ask.

However I've been so far in awe at people's generosity. I've reach £400 of my target on the power of annoying people on Facebook alone. But the fact is I agreed to get £1000 to MNDA by the end of October, and a further £1500 by the end of May when I've completed the race... and sadly Facebook has a hide button for annoying sorts just. like me.

So this is where the three mighty powers of motivation shall combine together to make one huge pyramid of motivation, where not only do I get into my training but everyone is inspired enough to dig deep and throw lots of cash at me.

This formula roughly translates as me being terrified of not getting to my target, so I bribe people with FOOD which results in money for charity... which motivates me to run run run.

This is a very long winded way of telling everyone I threw my first fundraising event this weekend.
I'm not going to lie... I've been absolutely terrified in the run up. The premise was simple. I buy BBQ food. You come and eat the BBQ food. You put some money in the pot. Emma goes home happy.

But despite being the Fun Coordinator at my university's Operatic society, where I threw event after event with apparently no regard to how annoying or was or caring if people turned up, or even enjoyed themselves because I was just obliviously and unshakably convinced that they would. 

I am a very different person to who I was at age 21/22. My husband and most people I know will probably let you know it's definitely a good thing. I'm also much happier than I was at 21. The only downfall is that I've managed to develop this little thing called empathy, which currently makes me constantly terrified about what impact I'm having on other people...and whether or not I am making them happy (I desperately want to make everyone happy all the time. It's pretty much all I want for everyone in life).

This irrational fear nearly lead me to cancelling the BBQ a few weeks before because I wasn't sure I had enough yes's to make it worth it, and I didn't want attendees to think it was lame... So my husband jumped to action and invited some extras and motivated me to actually bug those who haven't replied for a response. Slowly but surely people realised they didn't have anything better to do, so agreed to rock up to my little shin dig.

Once the weatherman announced sunshine for the weekend, my anxiety slipped away as I got down to doing my favourite thing in the world... LIST WRITING!

I got everything organised, ordered some colour coordinated napkins and painted my nails to match. I spent a happy hour in Tesco buying a tonne of food and took it over to parents who kindly agreed to host.

Admittedly I was still a little anxious on the day and my husband (who is so supporting and awesome for standing in the midday eat over a fiery BBQ to make everyone's food) will tell you that I sometimes slightly over estimate how much time is needed for things like blowing up balloons and making salad. But he's wrong.

At 3pm on the dot the first guest arrived and for the next four hours around 24 of some of the loveliest people I know came, relaxed, ate food, drank Pimms and had a jolly good afternoon.

After everyone left I found I had raised £207 for my marathon pot, which means several people donated more than the recommended £5 for the afternoon of entertainment, and have increased my current fundraising pot by 50%.

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude, happiness and Pimms for everyone who came and even more glad for the fact everyone had a lovely afternoon. I don't know why I was so worried.


Thank you again to everyone who has contributed and joined in so far. My next event is a buffet meal in Southend., Essex, on the 20th October, and is open to all due to me not being the one to pay for the food! If you don't yet have the details please let me know!

A third of the way there and a third of the way through my journey

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon

  

The last picture is there to prove it wasn't just me and a skipping rope.

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 3: The Pain Addiction

I am now officially 3 weeks into my new shiny gym time table and not only have I stuck to it I have achieved the below:

- ran fastest 5km (sub 30 minutes if you minus traffic light waiting time)
- knocked 90 second off my swimming time for 40 lengths (1km)
- increased interval runs to 24 minutes 2 weeks ahead of schedule AND could have done more
- can tell 6kg weights (improvement from 2.5 - my arms are spaghetti)
- can touch the floor with fingertips and straight legs, and can reach mid-calf (in back with leg in the air, improve from only reaching back of my knee)

Three more weeks and the timetable will be a habit and I can build on everything towards the marathon. So easy. Generally I feel awesome but I wanted to share with you the best fitness tip I've ever picked up, but its only for the brave and those who, like me, have developed an affection for exercise that can only really fit into the BDSM category.

Everything about exercise hurts from your 5am alarm to the lock jaw you develop from straining during weights. But like with having children, the euphoric joy from that momentary, fleeting sense of achievement seems to completely extinguish the negatives from your memory and trick your mind into thinking you want more of that.

So, what is that tip I hear you cry?

FOAM ROLLING*

*to be pronounced only in loud booming voiceover voice

I was shown this technique by a personal trainer and bought my own mini roller at home and have never looked back.
The horrid thing one of the many horrid things about running is that it seems to make all the muscles in your legs contract and seize up, no matter how much you stretch.  The pain can be excruciating and it knocks you about ten steps back on any beneficial yoga you might be partaking in.
FOAM ROLLING* is basically a self inflicted deep tissue massage which (if done properly) is only for the brave and slightly sick in the head.

Here's a little video of me in my Aladdin pjs doing it wrong:

Now I can't film myself doing it right because:
1. I couldn't film myself as it takes every ounce of concentration and all four limbs
2. If I asked my husband to film me all you'd hear would be his excessive giggling at my grimacing and self inflicted pain

So to FOAM ROLL* properly you have to do it slowly. You have to use your other leg to put more weight on it and SLOWLY* work your way up each section of your leg, And every time you fine a tight muscle (which is every centimetre after a decent run) you have to rotate from side to side.

To know its working you need to feel like you have the thumbs of a thousand tint Eastern European women from your local spa digging their thumbs into that one section of your leg in perfect unison.

It hurts. So. Much. And you're doing it to yourself so you have to keep going. You have to torture yourself until your leg is white hot with pain. Because afterwards...

IT. FEELS. GLORIOUS.

Your legs will feel lighter than air and you'll want to immediately run again thanks to all your new found leg energy (legergy).
Exactly like childbirth.

That's all for now. Happy FOAM ROLLING* everyone.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 2: Winning and Fear.

I am now two months into my marathon training and 8 months until The Big Day. I want to say that things are going well. But they're also not going terribly. It's an odd feeling of uncertainty.

The month of May got off to a good start, lots of likes on my original post, people being generally admiring of my attempt to do something so hard; encouragement from those who have survived in the past, and emotion from my family who are my main reason for even attempting this whole thing.

However in June, my personal life took a dramatic downturn when my beloved puglet became ill and subsequently had to leave us for little puggy heaven. We only had her company for 6 months but she has had such an impact on us that this loss has impacted everything about my day to day life including my energy levels, which have been an at all time low.

RIP Princess ❤

Last week, in remembrance of Gloria, who was small and fearless, I decided to uncomplicate my training time table, work out what I like and what I don't like and then... JFDI.

For those who care:
Monday: Rest
Tuesday: 6am Swim (start at 40 lengths and increase, within time limit of 30-40 minutes)
Wednesday: 8.30pm Body Balance Class (for core strength, flexibility and balance)
Thursday: Rest
Friday: 20 minutes interval run (to be increased by 2 minutes weekly) and 10 minutes of upper body strength exercises
Saturday: 20-30 minutes of upper and lower body strength exercises; 30 minute Sprint cycling class
Sunday: Distance running (start at 5km, aiming for 10km in 60 minutes by October)


After six weeks of feeling like a failure, and the copious amounts of "we feel crap about life" take aways, I had one whole successful exercise and training. I pushed myself hard and not only managed to increase my gym going, but increased my reps of upper body exercises (my arms are actually spaghetti); I swam 40 lengths in 28 minutes and ran my fastest 5k (31 minutes 15 seconds).

Yesterday I was on a complete high and felt strong and back on track,

Then at 2am last night I woke up in a panic about the state of my fundraising.

I have to raise £1000 by October to keep in line with my agreement with the Motor Neurone Disease Association. I am already on £110 which is great progress. I am organising a little fundraising BBQ in August and next up I'll be looking for an all inclusive charity buffet meal of some description, to which you are all welcome.

It suddenly dawned on me that not only do I have to motivate myself to push my body harder than ever before; to go to the gym and train 5 days a week for the next 38 weeks (that's 190 times), to eat well, to spend decent money on trainers and running clothes, but I also have to motivate myself and inspire others to financially invest in the cause that is so dear to me so I can reach and exceed the expectations of the charity.

It feels like a huge weight on my shoulders and whilst I know my friends and colleagues are wonderful, beautiful and generous people, asking for money is hard and I can always understand the reasons people won't or can't.

Due to my 2am fundraising panic, I am now shattered and not looking forward to my 5.30am wake up call to go and swim tomorrow, but I will do it, I have to do it and I hope my determination will come across enough to move people into donating and attending any events I put on.

Its been a funny journey so far. In some ways I don't really feel like I'm achieving much or really know what I'm doing, but in others I've never felt more more in control and motivated. I don't know if these ebbs and flows in emotion are normal, or whether I'm just being dramatic, but I think my challenge is going to be to keep on going even when the last thing I want to do is put my trainers on.

But I need to, I have to, and I have to organise fundraisers and you suckers are my friends so have to attend and cough up the cash. #inspirationalquotesbyme

Kinda simple when you put it like that

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon

JefferStow's Road to the Marathon: Post 1: There are only three reasons to run.

There are only three reasons that any human being should ever run:

1. If you are being chased
2. If there is food
3. If it is for charity


It's been one whole year (already!) since I last posted , and this also signals the last time I did something 1. remotely energetic, 2. remotely charitable.*

So this May, I have managed to stumble across a guaranteed spot in the London Marathon 2018, and I will be raising a minimum of £2,500 for the Motor Neurone Disease Association. This blog shall explain a little bit more of my motivation.


1. Why the Marathon?

I've completed a half marathon, I ran 100 miles in May 2016... Why on earth would I try to run 26 miles all in one go around London on a Sunday morning in April?

Every year see posts from friends about their marathon running achievements, how the event has profoundly affected their lives, and the thousands of pounds raised for wonderful and important charities. My dad and my sister have both completed it, and at the age of 21 I put it on my "Before I'm 30" bucket list.

Despite being terrified of the last minute, I do tend to trust my instincts and will make a spontaneous decision if I feel its right. It worked when we got a pug so when I got the email from MNDA offering me the place, I thought.... ¡¿Por qué no?!

I will be 28 on the 22nd April 2018 so the London Marathon will be a big fat tick in the "life goals" box.

I don't have much else on my list tbh.


2. Why the MND Association?

Motor Neurone disease is without a doubt the cruelest disease known to man. There is no rhyme nor reason, no cure, and it robs it's victims of their mobility, speech, ability to eat, and eventually their life, in a slow and painful way.

As some of you may know, my Uncle was diagnosed with this horrific illness around a year ago. Thankfully at the moment he is still able to play the piano (he is a terrific pianist) and cuddle his beautiful grandson.

They live far away from us so I feel utterly helpless in being able to support my family through this horrible time, but what I can do is run and raise money and help the group that have already been a huge support for my Uncle and his family.

To find out more about the MNDA please see their website: https://www.mndassociation.org/


3. Why so much money?

I have been lucky enough to secure a Golden Bond Charity place with the Motor Neurone Disease Association. This means I do not have to enter the public ballot and I am guaranteed a place, and for this privilege I promise to raise a grand total of £2,500.
The money I raise also covers the cost to the charity of securing Golden Bond places, a total of £330. Everything else I raise goes directly to MNDA.

As well as regular donations I plan to put on various events, bake cakes and generally generate some fun opportunities for you to join in and donate money whilst also getting something in return.

Its a big target and myself, my family and anyone affected by Motor Neurone Disease value your support.


https://www.justgiving.com/Jefferstow-Runs-The-Marathon


Over the next 12 months I will be resurrecting my Gym Blog in order to provide witty updates as to my training schedule and to continually beg for money and advertise my own little fund raising events as well. Part one will involved Body Balance and foam rollers. Get excited.

Here is my new best friend, my new (colour coded) Gym Schedule. Wish me luck. Prepare to be in awe. Donate. And don't forget to add Gift Aid.

Much Love

Emma xx

*Not entirely true. I did a 13 mile hike that was a 16 mile hike for my company's worthy charity, the MTV Staying Alive Foundation in September. It was sweaty.