Jefferstow's Road To the Marathon: Post 7: Peaks and really really deep troughs

It's taken me a while to work out exactly what and when to write my next blog post. My original plan was to write a witty and inspiring opener to 2018, talking about how excited I was to have achieved my goals so far and how excited and terrified I was for the next 16 weeks, following Virgin Marathon's training plan.

However, although I did achieve my goal of running a half marathon before the end of 2017 (completed 13.1 miles in 2 hrs 29 mins on the 31st December... Oh how I cried)... my Uncle was taken into hospital and under going serious treatment and physio since the day after Boxing Day. I didn't feel particularly positive, or like it was appropriate to be celebrating anything when my family was so far away and suffering so much.

We lost my Uncle Alwyn on the 11th January. He slipped away peacefully after one hell of a fight. We celebrated his life in a beautiful service on the 9th February; and also found out my cousin and his wife are expecting their second child in July.


It has been an absolute rollercoaster of emotions for a number of reasons as you can imagine, and as much as I wanted to, there just haven't been the words to express how I've been feeling; nor could it ever be my place to even begin to explain what a huge hole Alwyn has left in the lives of my Auntie and cousins. Over 100 people came to his funeral which is a huge testament to what a happy, cheeky and well loved man he was during his too-short time on earth.
For me, I will always be thankful for him for taking me to see Star Wars when they came out as those films play such an important role in my life now, for accompanying my singing on the piano multiple times; and for the best Donald Duck impression I have ever, or will ever hear.

In terms of my marathon training, things have also been a total rollercoaster. The Virgin Marathon training plan is INTENSE and involves running 4 times a week, with some sort of stretching in the middle. I can't even explain to you how much time and energy this takes up.
The mid week runs are a mix of Easy and Steady runs (which I love) and Interval runs; which are tough but very rewarding. Sundays bring the long runs. I hate the long runs.

After my semi-successful half marathon, I have really struggled on the long runs. The longest I've managed so far is 15.6 miles, which was a good day. But the week before I ran 14 miles and ended up sick in bed for the next 48 hours. I lost my confidence 3 weeks before that by running 10 miles in a bad mood which ended up with me crying my eyes out 4 miles away from my house with no way to get home except to run. I ran 10 miles on a treadmill to build my confidence again and ended up with under-boob chafing (I kid you not).

For the last 3 weeks the snow and illness have completely messed up my time table. I managed to run 5 miles with a mild chest infection. I don't know how I feel about that.

I have 6.5 weeks left to go and I have no clue how I'm going to get there. I've literally had to consult my diary and can no longer accept invites for plans until after 23rd April because I just do not have the time nor the energy to do anything except sit quietly at home on the evenings I do have spare.
I've never been more demotivated or tired but I need to keep going. I don't have a choice at this point.

There is no love in running, no joy, no freedom. It doesn't clear my head, it makes everything seem bigger, harder and worse than it seemed before I started running. I cannot wait for this to be over so I can tick it off my list and get back to being a cheerful, energetic person, and a nice wife to live with.

But so as not to end this blog on a depressing note, I am absolutely chuffed to say that I have reached my minimum fundraising target for Motor Neurone Disease. That doesn't mean I don't need more money, there is still no cure for this disease and they need every penny you can spare. I am so grateful for the financial and mental support you have all given me so far, I can't even begin to explain how much I've needed it.

I am also stronger and fitter than I ever thought possible. For 2 days after I ran the half marathon I could barely walk, that was only 9 weeks ago.... when I ran nearly 16 miles, I barely needed to stretch and I was absolutely fine the next day. Even with breaks due to travel, illness and snow, getting back on the horse hasn't been a huge trial. I can do it, my body is letting me to it... I just have to believe it.

Please keep saying nice things and donating money!

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/jefferstow-runs-the-marathon